hello.
well, i guess i have grown a little older. i think these 12 months have been special. i have seen myself take quite a few forms and in the process i have understood a little more about myself.

i began with fiery energy in the first half, fearfully trudging on towards beating winds and thick thorn-bushes. with nothing but a voice in my heart, i manifested a dream and fought for my prize in the castle. but somewhere in the middle, time aged the strength of excitement and i began to rationalize. i wrote lists about ideals, desires, dreams and love. and along with these lists came along another voice that fed the heart with whispers greedily about the other possibilities.

i spoke to a few people who are in their mid thirties and i think this is a common symptom for 20 year olds. i guess i am a stage where i am figuring out who i want to be, what i want to do. am i to do this? study? work? date? get married? skydive? what.

sigh. i have spent the past few months in a mixture of contemplating, celebrating, struggling, daydreaming, brainwashing. but i have grown to be quite sick of feeling that way. and i guess my solution now is to take one step at a time. i have to talk less and start to do a little more. step one is a week away.

we all want to be happy someday... don't we? :)